h e l p ...

Mood: almost crying (sad)
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I really don't know where I should go in this point of my life.. Seriously.

My parents say that I should continue wif my school, cuz if I get a job first, I might not get a chance or might not want to go to school again. They want me to get a Masters, and that's what I've always wanted. Finishing my Master's degree at a young age, seeing how proud my parents will be (taking a peek at Kappa-chan's blog) yeah Kap, it's darn hard being the oldest child..

But then I see my friends who, even tho they say they're not a pure Computer Science student (like they feel that they took the wrong major), 1 of 'em is realllly good in Flash and designing stuff (what I meant here was Irine.. aku iri..) I wanna be like that.. but I just don't have the talent. Yes it is interesting learning to use those designing softwares (Macromedia Group: Flash, Freehand, Fireworks, Dreamweaver), but..I just can't seem to really2 get a hold of any of 'em. I remembered taking an IQ test back in Hi Skul (it was mandatory fer evryone) the test said that I wasn't Creative, Creative was one of the personalities included in the test. That came to me like a boomerang. Oh noooo.... I'm not creative.. How can it be? I'm so stressed and f***ed up I can't even think.

Anyway...now I'm confused, either to take a Master's degree or to get a job first. But then, if I get a job, I don't know what skills to offer, except for my English speaking, reading & writing skills. The greatest position I can hit is a translator in a local TV station.. that's if.. they even see my CV. Yeah..I got a lotta Organization Skills, but I'm just not confident enough in myself. And speaking about talent, the only talent I see is talking and music, as in I'm a very talkative person and I LOVE music since I was verrryyy little (listening to music & playing it, I even made up some songs & poems, but I haven's got the music to it yet, just some singing there). Oh yeah, another thing is, I love kids. I was even thinking of teaching English in a pre-school or elementary schools since I really like kids, and the funny thing is, the kids stick to me like glue. It's like I'm some kind of a "kid magnet". This is probably something that descend to me from my grandma, my mom said dat her Mother was also a "kid magnet". Kids just love to be around her, yeah..I used to work in a day-care center, and the kids enjoyed my company. 1 kid even wanted me to go home with her!

That's why I'm soo confused..

If I were to continue my study, what should I take for my Master's degree?

If I were to get a job, what job should I try to take a chance on?

AAAARRRGGGGHHH....!!! I can't take it anymore!!